The Top Two Ways to Create a Confident Young Adult

For me, the top two ways a parent teaches their children to feel confident and good about themselves is by telling them what they should expect for and from themselves in their life.

  • They should expect to be challenged in life; so they grow and learn.
  • They should expect others to treat them with respect; anything less than that is unacceptable, and
  • They must expect the same applies to how they treat others; with respect.
  • They should expect that there are choices they could make during the process of expectations.

Of course, children of all ages run into people who won’t follow those rules; whereby they are challenging the boundaries of respect and expectations. It could be a man, woman, friend, or family member who won’t adhere to your child’s way of thinking and their balance of peace becomes disrupted in the moment. This is the moment in time when conscious choices come in; so balance can be restored and their journey of life continues on.

Without looking at the choices offered to them, your child can get stuck in a downward spiral into the bickering, anger, resentment, or whatever feeling of that moment; in turn, stunting their emotional growth. In one way or another, the child must decide what to do in that given situation. Your tools and guidance helps them to rise through the options.

Perhaps an apology or disconnect from the person is in order. Maybe your child needs to put a boundary in place, tell someone of authority the circumstances, or hopefully, if he or she doesn’t know the best way to handle a situation, they know they could come to you for advice.

When a child learns to expect more for and from themselves, they know better how to make good choices for themselves. For starters, teach them how to appreciate. Appreciate what, you say? Themselves; for who they are, what they have to offer, what they have the ability to do, and for what they are given. When a person knows that they are blessed, valuable just as they are, they exude it. When they are truly grateful for those blessings, their personality comes alive, their self-esteem rises, and they beam their light out to the world.

To take a line from the movie, The Help, teach them to say,

“I am smart, I am kind, I am important.”

Although there are many lessons to share with your kids as they grow, most importantly, remind them that they are worthy of respect. Their self-worth will replicate through their higher self-esteem, and you’ll know that you are helping to make them stronger, more loving, more loved, and grateful individuals.

As you go about your day, make conscious efforts to take notice if your child isn’t feeling good about him- or herself; then, remind them of their worth. By way of the media, peers, and even family members, kids find reasons why they aren’t good enough. Help them to know better. Teach them to be more independent at a young age so they transpire into men and women with high morals, values, and self-esteem. Show them that they, on their own, are acceptable, respectful, and worthy beings. By introducing this idea now, when they leave your protected cover they will know it to be true.

In summary, the top two ways a parent can teach their children to feel confident and good about themselves is to tell the children to 1) expect others to respect them, and  2) expect respect from themselves. If they don’t expect others to treat them right, then they are disrespecting themselves. Both 1 and 2 go hand-in-hand. When they honor themselves, they inadvertently receive respect externally.

Happy Parenting!

Kimberly Mitchell

If this topic appeals to you, or you would like to read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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False Self and Soul


False Self and Soul

Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.

False Self and SoulThe flowers’ face turns easily and effortlessly to the sun, thereby receiving warmth, nourishment and strength.  God sends love and light to all of us, saintly and sick, ignorant and wise, without discrimination.  Just as there are barriers to the sun, which prevent plants from receiving its rays, we have obstacles in ourselves and in our lives, which disturb conscious awareness of God’s gifts to us.  Problems and pain arise when the flow of divine love is blocked.  Significant interactions, especially in childhood, which fail to actively demonstrate spirituality, trigger self-doubt and unworthiness.  Defenses and adaptations to painful experiences create a false sense of self, which continues to attract similar stressful themes.  These reinforcing experiences can lead us further away from our heavenly heritage and toward a search for fulfillment in areas that will ultimately betray us and leave us feeling empty.

We are tempted by what promises quick, easy “fixes” for pain, problems and lack of purpose.  We are easily addicted to alcohol and other drugs, sugary, salty and fatty foods, compulsive shopping, sex and gambling, mania, money, numbing, power, prestige and violence.  Our focus is on our five senses, our false self, and a society that disguises abuse, cruelty, dishonesty, greed and exploitation of the earth and its inhabitants, as progress, efficiency and ironically the improvement of humanity.

And yet, as human beings, we commonly devalue, exploit and waste what we acquire in abundance or never lose.  Perhaps to fully appreciate and demonstrate the highest love in this life, we must experience specific challenges, obstacles and even traumas, before reclaiming the treasure of divinity within us.  Sufficient negative personal experience and significant pain is generally required before we re-consider who we are and how we are living.  Habits and defenses that offer even the illusion of temporary comfort are generally not abandoned without a long and difficult struggle.  Given these factors, perhaps pain, problems, and the betrayal of all of the habits that we believed would help us, are needed to ultimately motivate us to align with our spiritual being.

We can ask ourselves in any moment of action, feeling, speech or thought, if we are coming from our false self or our soul.  The answer is easy to discern.  False self attempts to conquer, and creates chaos, conflicts, confusion and division.  Soul is profoundly peaceful, loving, understanding and wise.  False self uses anger and fear to amplify selfishness and willfulness.  Soul uses gentleness, gratitude, humility and open-mindedness to enlarge its giving.  False self nurses pride to hide self-hate and dwells in self-pity to avoid accountability.  Soul does not judge us and reminds us that errors are to be used as opportunities for learning, healing and growth.  False self blames, condemns and hates.  Soul tells us that there is really nothing to defend or struggle against.  False self has constant cravings, while soul is in a perpetual state of grace and fulfillment.  We can learn from the consequences of our decisions and actions what it is that promotes emotional, mental and physical well being.  Negative energies take us further from our divine essence and positive energies bring us closer.  We have free will to choose our path and change our path at any time.  False self uses the mind to give us worldly knowledge for this life.  Soul uses the heart to help us understand higher truths, which give us the keys to Heaven.

We can use our daily experiences to become more mindful of our true internal state and of what we are learning in our environment.  Prayer, meditation and communion with our heart can help us to integrate this life with our soul’s purpose.  The more we focus on that which keeps us aligned with God, and actively demonstrate spiritual principles, the more of Heaven we bring to earth.  Being a positive example of a human being is not easy or effortless.  Yet our evolution and flowering is worth the time and devotion.  We must identify all of the ways in which we keep ourselves in shadows, and one by one, remove these obstacles to our enlightenment.  The more darkness we surrender, the more we feel divine warmth, nourishment and strength flowing through us.  An abundance of blessings awaits us as we increasingly open our hearts to the loving spirit of God within us and within everything around us.


Wake Up With The Attitude Of Gratitude

Wake up with the attitude of gratitude

The Attitude of Gratitude – Waking up Each Day Being Grateful

Start each new day cialis online pharmacy with the attitude of gratitude.

Gratitude is about waking up in this moment and being here now – really being here – and noticing what’s around you. Most people are so busy thinking about whats not happening, or how much more they have to do, that they don’t look around and notice what’s happening at the present moment. The only moment we have is right here and right now. Wake up to fully embrace the present moment..Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.♥

~ The Dalai Lama

Start each new day with the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is about waking up in this moment and being here now – really being here – and noticing what’s around you. Most people are so busy thinking about whats not happening, or how much more they have to do, that they don’t look around and notice what’s happening at the present moment. The only moment we have is right here and right now. Wake up to fully embrace the present moment..