Five Ways to Present Your Best Self and Create Harmony in Your Relationships

Have you ever stopped to just listen to yourself?

Do you communicate well with others? Do you show love and support through the way you talk and act? Do you even recognize how you show up for yourself, and whether you are doing yourself a disservice in those moments? Consider the idea that when one chooses bad behavior, in part or in whole, it is a reflection of one’s character.

If you find yourself yelling at someone, saying things you regret, or barking foul language, you eventually will be remorseful. That is, of course, if you have a conscience.

Look, everyone has bad days, bad situations, and hard luck. I know I do. There are times when I’ve had regret on how I presented myself, what I’ve said, and what I’ve done. Although we all must move beyond those moments, forgiving each other, how we handle ourselves in those situations, and whether or not we realize our flaws, is what makes all the difference. Our future depends upon it.

Here are five ways to show up for yourself and salvage those relationships:

  1. Make a happier you. If there’s only one thing that comes from presenting yourself well, it is that you create a happier life for yourself. You do this by showing up for yourself; choosing your reactions. Since you’re more aware of what you say and do, you won’t get all worked up in the emotional end of a situation. You know how to think on your feet. Obviously, that doesn’t mean there won’t be pain in the process, but how you react to that pain can change the scenario dramatically. In time, you figure out how to make every situation work a little bit better.
  2. If you owe one, give it. With relationships comes disagreements; it’s normal for most people…and apologies soon follow. If you owe one, give it. However, open ears and an open heart can only hear the words “I’m sorry” so many times. The receiver must believe, without a doubt, that you are truly sorry, and that you understand how you hurt them. Then again, if this situation is one that continually happens, chances are your words will be ignored. The belief that things will change will not be an option.
  3. Create a plan and make a vow to shine. Make a vow to pay attention to yourself. Recognize your trigger points, ahead of time, and figure out what you can do to avoid potential conflict that comes your way. Remove yourself from negative conversations, and most definitely refrain from stirring the pot, so to speak. Promise yourself going into situations that you will show up in the best version of yourself.
  4. Look for the solutions. Take the time to look for positive remedies for when issues arise. Find ways to combat conflict without a negative tone. Being mature about the outcome can create solutions that you never thought of before now.
  5. Do your homework and make good choices. If you believe with all your heart that the relationship is worth salvaging, then go after it. If the connection was not meant to be, and is not important to your future, then let it go. Holding on to combative relationships, or the resentment, remorse, and bitterness that comes with the territory will only destroy you in the process.

In the end, relationships created out of love or respect usually overcome the small details of petty issues. Connections that don’t have at least one of these two ingredients, love or respect, may very well discontinue once conflict arises. Even with the words of apology, there’s a strong possibility that one or the other may not want to continue the relationship.

We only have so many love connections in this world. Do your part to find ways to keep those connections alive and well. Be the hero, take a chance, and be vulnerable with your heart. Let others know you care. You might be surprised how many hearts will open through your actions.

Genuinely,

Kimberly Mitchell
Author of Loving with Purpose

To read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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10 of the Best Ways to Consider Consideration

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As you go about your day, consider being thoughtful to someone else. You’d be surprised how easy it is to make a person feel special with one simple action or word from you. Being considerate of each other has become a thing of the past for many; however, there are many MORE people who are kind, selfless, and understanding of another human being.

The thing is that NOTHING is more appealing in this world than a simple touch or gesture from another person; one that lets us know that they care. Yeah, we may think becoming successful and having many things will be gratifying, but more importantly it is through our grace and kindness to one another that actually gives us the ability to become more powerful than ever before!

Think about how much you love and care for your pet, or even a car or some other inanimate object….THEN go be that kind to someone else in that manner.

To get you started, here are 10 of the best ways to consider consideration:

  1. Ask a family member or neighbor if they need anything while you’re out running errands.
  2. Take on someone else’s responsibility for a day; your spouse, a friend, a parent. They’ll be grateful for your service.
  3. Say “Please” and “Thank You” to those who do for you and say “Hi” to everyone!
  4. Chill out when it comes to a different point-of-view. Everyone has an opinion and you don’t have to agree with them. Think about how important the point is you’re trying to make. Is it really worth arguing about?
  5. Rub the shoulders of someone in pain, or extend a hand to a person in need.
  6. Kneel down and talk to a child; come down to their view of the world.
  7. Stop interrupting when someone else is talking. When in conversation, give the other person a chance to talk, too.
  8. Consider a person’s schedule, time, abilities, and even personality.
  9. Don’t leave other people out. For example, sit lower, place yourself properly, or keep your head still in a room full of people; like church, a concert, or other event…so as to not obstruct the view. Another example could be to include others in your invitations so as to not leave someone out.
  10. Remind yourself that every plastic bottle or box you recycle is probably two or three bags a week (in my house anyway) that you save from the landfill. That’s like helping billions of people all at once!

Some of these may be tough for many of readers, I’m sure. Good news is that being considerate is always as close as your nearest retailer. For instance, #8 comes in handy when in a checkout line. If the guy behind you has one item and your cart is a little hefty, let him go in front of you. Oh, and let’s not forget the cashier! Consider if she is busy; not to mention, dealing with the frustrations of those who wait their turn. Offer her a kind word and a stress-free transaction.

We all have things we can work on in ourselves. I can definitely name a few for me. The thing is to be conscious of what you are putting out there so that the best of you comes forward. Self-awareness is key when making changes to your behaviors. Make a note, list, or add a calendar entry with a recurring event, “Be considerate to someone today.” With time, you will automatically become a giver; of yourself and of your thoughtfulness.

When you intently put one consideration after another out there, you instantaneously become more graceful and happy. How about that for payoff!!!

Consider adding a comment here or on my post, “What’s the One Good Thing…”

I will end with a quote about consideration and character.

“Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your   education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your   suspicions and prejudices, and your real caliber is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have   for others.” – William   J. H. Boetcker

Thank you for visiting Loving with Purpose.

Kimberly Mitchell

To read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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The Top Two Ways to Create a Confident Young Adult

For me, the top two ways a parent teaches their children to feel confident and good about themselves is by telling them what they should expect for and from themselves in their life.

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  • They should expect to be challenged in life; so they grow and learn.
  • They should expect others to treat them with respect; anything less than that is unacceptable, and
  • They must expect the same applies to how they treat others; with respect.
  • They should expect that there are choices they could make during the process of expectations.

Of course, children of all ages run into people who won’t follow those rules; whereby they are challenging the boundaries of respect and expectations. It could be a man, woman, friend, or family member who won’t adhere to your child’s way of thinking and their balance of peace becomes disrupted in the moment. This is the moment in time when conscious choices come in; so balance can be restored and their journey of life continues on.

Without looking at the choices offered to them, your child can get stuck in a downward spiral into the bickering, anger, resentment, or whatever feeling of that moment; in turn, stunting their emotional growth. In one way or another, the child must decide what to do in that given situation. Your tools and guidance helps them to rise through the options.

Perhaps an apology or disconnect from the person is in order. Maybe your child needs to put a boundary in place, tell someone of authority the circumstances, or hopefully, if he or she doesn’t know the best way to handle a situation, they know they could come to you for advice.

When a child learns to expect more for and from themselves, they know better how to make good choices for themselves. For starters, teach them how to appreciate. Appreciate what, you say? Themselves; for who they are, what they have to offer, what they have the ability to do, and for what they are given. When a person knows that they are blessed, valuable just as they are, they exude it. When they are truly grateful for those blessings, their personality comes alive, their self-esteem rises, and they beam their light out to the world.

To take a line from the movie, The Help, teach them to say,

“I am smart, I am kind, I am important.”

Although there are many lessons to share with your kids as they grow, most importantly, remind them that they are worthy of respect. Their self-worth will replicate through their higher self-esteem, and you’ll know that you are helping to make them stronger, more loving, more loved, and grateful individuals.

As you go about your day, make conscious efforts to take notice if your child isn’t feeling good about him- or herself; then, remind them of their worth. By way of the media, peers, and even family members, kids find reasons why they aren’t good enough. Help them to know better. Teach them to be more independent at a young age so they transpire into men and women with high morals, values, and self-esteem. Show them that they, on their own, are acceptable, respectful, and worthy beings. By introducing this idea now, when they leave your protected cover they will know it to be true.

In summary, the top two ways a parent can teach their children to feel confident and good about themselves is to tell the children to 1) expect others to respect them, and  2) expect respect from themselves. If they don’t expect others to treat them right, then they are disrespecting themselves. Both 1 and 2 go hand-in-hand. When they honor themselves, they inadvertently receive respect externally.

Happy Parenting!

Kimberly Mitchell

If this topic appeals to you, or you would like to read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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