Five Ways to Present Your Best Self and Create Harmony in Your Relationships

Have you ever stopped to just listen to yourself?

Do you communicate well with others? Do you show love and support through the way you talk and act? Do you even recognize how you show up for yourself, and whether you are doing yourself a disservice in those moments? Consider the idea that when one chooses bad behavior, in part or in whole, it is a reflection of one’s character.

If you find yourself yelling at someone, saying things you regret, or barking foul language, you eventually will be remorseful. That is, of course, if you have a conscience.

Look, everyone has bad days, bad situations, and hard luck. I know I do. There are times when I’ve had regret on how I presented myself, what I’ve said, and what I’ve done. Although we all must move beyond those moments, forgiving each other, how we handle ourselves in those situations, and whether or not we realize our flaws, is what makes all the difference. Our future depends upon it.

Here are five ways to show up for yourself and salvage those relationships:

  1. Make a happier you. If there’s only one thing that comes from presenting yourself well, it is that you create a happier life for yourself. You do this by showing up for yourself; choosing your reactions. Since you’re more aware of what you say and do, you won’t get all worked up in the emotional end of a situation. You know how to think on your feet. Obviously, that doesn’t mean there won’t be pain in the process, but how you react to that pain can change the scenario dramatically. In time, you figure out how to make every situation work a little bit better.
  2. If you owe one, give it. With relationships comes disagreements; it’s normal for most people…and apologies soon follow. If you owe one, give it. However, open ears and an open heart can only hear the words “I’m sorry” so many times. The receiver must believe, without a doubt, that you are truly sorry, and that you understand how you hurt them. Then again, if this situation is one that continually happens, chances are your words will be ignored. The belief that things will change will not be an option.
  3. Create a plan and make a vow to shine. Make a vow to pay attention to yourself. Recognize your trigger points, ahead of time, and figure out what you can do to avoid potential conflict that comes your way. Remove yourself from negative conversations, and most definitely refrain from stirring the pot, so to speak. Promise yourself going into situations that you will show up in the best version of yourself.
  4. Look for the solutions. Take the time to look for positive remedies for when issues arise. Find ways to combat conflict without a negative tone. Being mature about the outcome can create solutions that you never thought of before now.
  5. Do your homework and make good choices. If you believe with all your heart that the relationship is worth salvaging, then go after it. If the connection was not meant to be, and is not important to your future, then let it go. Holding on to combative relationships, or the resentment, remorse, and bitterness that comes with the territory will only destroy you in the process.

In the end, relationships created out of love or respect usually overcome the small details of petty issues. Connections that don’t have at least one of these two ingredients, love or respect, may very well discontinue once conflict arises. Even with the words of apology, there’s a strong possibility that one or the other may not want to continue the relationship.

We only have so many love connections in this world. Do your part to find ways to keep those connections alive and well. Be the hero, take a chance, and be vulnerable with your heart. Let others know you care. You might be surprised how many hearts will open through your actions.

Genuinely,

Kimberly Mitchell
Author of Loving with Purpose

To read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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The Top Two Ways to Create a Confident Young Adult

For me, the top two ways a parent teaches their children to feel confident and good about themselves is by telling them what they should expect for and from themselves in their life.

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  • They should expect to be challenged in life; so they grow and learn.
  • They should expect others to treat them with respect; anything less than that is unacceptable, and
  • They must expect the same applies to how they treat others; with respect.
  • They should expect that there are choices they could make during the process of expectations.

Of course, children of all ages run into people who won’t follow those rules; whereby they are challenging the boundaries of respect and expectations. It could be a man, woman, friend, or family member who won’t adhere to your child’s way of thinking and their balance of peace becomes disrupted in the moment. This is the moment in time when conscious choices come in; so balance can be restored and their journey of life continues on.

Without looking at the choices offered to them, your child can get stuck in a downward spiral into the bickering, anger, resentment, or whatever feeling of that moment; in turn, stunting their emotional growth. In one way or another, the child must decide what to do in that given situation. Your tools and guidance helps them to rise through the options.

Perhaps an apology or disconnect from the person is in order. Maybe your child needs to put a boundary in place, tell someone of authority the circumstances, or hopefully, if he or she doesn’t know the best way to handle a situation, they know they could come to you for advice.

When a child learns to expect more for and from themselves, they know better how to make good choices for themselves. For starters, teach them how to appreciate. Appreciate what, you say? Themselves; for who they are, what they have to offer, what they have the ability to do, and for what they are given. When a person knows that they are blessed, valuable just as they are, they exude it. When they are truly grateful for those blessings, their personality comes alive, their self-esteem rises, and they beam their light out to the world.

To take a line from the movie, The Help, teach them to say,

“I am smart, I am kind, I am important.”

Although there are many lessons to share with your kids as they grow, most importantly, remind them that they are worthy of respect. Their self-worth will replicate through their higher self-esteem, and you’ll know that you are helping to make them stronger, more loving, more loved, and grateful individuals.

As you go about your day, make conscious efforts to take notice if your child isn’t feeling good about him- or herself; then, remind them of their worth. By way of the media, peers, and even family members, kids find reasons why they aren’t good enough. Help them to know better. Teach them to be more independent at a young age so they transpire into men and women with high morals, values, and self-esteem. Show them that they, on their own, are acceptable, respectful, and worthy beings. By introducing this idea now, when they leave your protected cover they will know it to be true.

In summary, the top two ways a parent can teach their children to feel confident and good about themselves is to tell the children to 1) expect others to respect them, and  2) expect respect from themselves. If they don’t expect others to treat them right, then they are disrespecting themselves. Both 1 and 2 go hand-in-hand. When they honor themselves, they inadvertently receive respect externally.

Happy Parenting!

Kimberly Mitchell

If this topic appeals to you, or you would like to read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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Say Yes to the Isness of Life

Instead of creating expectations of what should or should not be happening, cooperate with the form that this moment takes. Bring a ‘yes’ to the isness, because it’s pointless to argue if it already is.

A greater intelligence is available to you when you no longer reject, deny, or ‘don’t want’ what is.♥ ~Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle invites us to embrace the “isness” of life, which above all else has to include our own being. If we cannot accept the “isness” of ourselves, we will be unable to truly accept life itself.

People do sometimes try to make us feel we don’t matter. They criticize, put us down, berate. But if we realize this is coming from their own inability to accept themselves, it needn’t touch us.

In their true being, no one believes that we don’t matter.

On the contrary, we matter so much that they long to matter to us—and it’s the fact they don’t realize how much they matter to themselves that causes them to attempt to dismiss us.

To be fully in this moment, this reality right now, as Eckhart invites us to be, is to recognize that our longing to matter to someone else isn’t at its root neediness. Rather it’s a desire to express to another the fact that we matter to ourselves.

We’ve been looking at Eckhart’s statement in Stillness Speaks, his second book, about acceptance. He writes:

Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world.