Five Ways to Present Your Best Self and Create Harmony in Your Relationships

Have you ever stopped to just listen to yourself?

Do you communicate well with others? Do you show love and support through the way you talk and act? Do you even recognize how you show up for yourself, and whether you are doing yourself a disservice in those moments? Consider the idea that when one chooses bad behavior, in part or in whole, it is a reflection of one’s character.

If you find yourself yelling at someone, saying things you regret, or barking foul language, you eventually will be remorseful. That is, of course, if you have a conscience.

Look, everyone has bad days, bad situations, and hard luck. I know I do. There are times when I’ve had regret on how I presented myself, what I’ve said, and what I’ve done. Although we all must move beyond those moments, forgiving each other, how we handle ourselves in those situations, and whether or not we realize our flaws, is what makes all the difference. Our future depends upon it.

Here are five ways to show up for yourself and salvage those relationships:

  1. Make a happier you. If there’s only one thing that comes from presenting yourself well, it is that you create a happier life for yourself. You do this by showing up for yourself; choosing your reactions. Since you’re more aware of what you say and do, you won’t get all worked up in the emotional end of a situation. You know how to think on your feet. Obviously, that doesn’t mean there won’t be pain in the process, but how you react to that pain can change the scenario dramatically. In time, you figure out how to make every situation work a little bit better.
  2. If you owe one, give it. With relationships comes disagreements; it’s normal for most people…and apologies soon follow. If you owe one, give it. However, open ears and an open heart can only hear the words “I’m sorry” so many times. The receiver must believe, without a doubt, that you are truly sorry, and that you understand how you hurt them. Then again, if this situation is one that continually happens, chances are your words will be ignored. The belief that things will change will not be an option.
  3. Create a plan and make a vow to shine. Make a vow to pay attention to yourself. Recognize your trigger points, ahead of time, and figure out what you can do to avoid potential conflict that comes your way. Remove yourself from negative conversations, and most definitely refrain from stirring the pot, so to speak. Promise yourself going into situations that you will show up in the best version of yourself.
  4. Look for the solutions. Take the time to look for positive remedies for when issues arise. Find ways to combat conflict without a negative tone. Being mature about the outcome can create solutions that you never thought of before now.
  5. Do your homework and make good choices. If you believe with all your heart that the relationship is worth salvaging, then go after it. If the connection was not meant to be, and is not important to your future, then let it go. Holding on to combative relationships, or the resentment, remorse, and bitterness that comes with the territory will only destroy you in the process.

In the end, relationships created out of love or respect usually overcome the small details of petty issues. Connections that don’t have at least one of these two ingredients, love or respect, may very well discontinue once conflict arises. Even with the words of apology, there’s a strong possibility that one or the other may not want to continue the relationship.

We only have so many love connections in this world. Do your part to find ways to keep those connections alive and well. Be the hero, take a chance, and be vulnerable with your heart. Let others know you care. You might be surprised how many hearts will open through your actions.

Genuinely,

Kimberly Mitchell
Author of Loving with Purpose

To read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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What I Learned From 21 Days In Meditation

On March 11th, I entered into a 21-day meditation challenge with two of the most well-known successful spiritual leaders of our time. One is most well-known for his ability to explain the inexplicable connection between our spirituality and our physical beings. The other is a highly public figure known for her riches, generosity, and deep spirituality guiding her to the right opportunities at the right times.

For 21 full days, I sat down to my computer with an open mind and open heart to listen to what Oprah and Deepak Chopra had to teach me that day.

The biggest thing I learned from the experience was that these two amazing teachers didn’t teach me much of anything. In fact, I learned everything I needed to in those 21 days from the stillness in my heart.

What I Learned From 21 Days In Meditation

For this meditation challenge, I committed to being open to whatever it was that I needed to learn. These are the two major insights I took away from my 21 days committed to a quiet heart and still mind:

By nature, my body is in balance. The body is so much smarter than the brain. In any given moment a million different actions are being taken without me having to do anything to facilitate them. Each and every time my heart beats or I take a breath, there is no conscious thought – just an automatic action.

When my body is not in balance (like if I have a headache or stomachache), it means that something that I am doing is throwing off the internal balance. The same can be said for when I begin to crave certain foods or when I have stiff muscles. My body is sending me signals to return to a certain point of balance – whether that is getting up from my chair to move a little bit or eating some carbohydrates to give me energy.

What’s so encouraging about this insight is that there are always things that will restore that balance – what holds us back from achieving that perfect balance all the time is the knowledge of what to do to achieve it. I’m excited and encouraged knowing that every time I feel less than stellar – that there will always be something I can do (or my body can do for me) to return me back to my balanced state.

The second thing I walked away with was the reminder that what I see as my outer world is a direct reflection of my inner world. I learned that my thoughts aren’t just things that come and go. But even the tiniest bit of internal dialogue can affect what appears to be happening around me in my daily life.

We’re often told that it only takes one thought to create a cascade of those specific thoughts. One negative thought leads to more negativity and one positive thought can lead to more positivity. I’m encouraged that even when I begin doubting myself or thinking about others negatively, that I can turn it around by remembering all that I am grateful for. With positive thinking and gratitude, I will have more positivity and things in my life to be grateful for.

From this experience, I am even more grateful for having this one body that I have been given. This 21-day meditation challenge has only solidified more that it is my job and my responsibility to keep it as much in great health and balance so that I can live a long and abundant life.

Image via adamr FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wounded Warriors

Sunset

Wounded Warriors

By Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.

SunsetAddicts enter recovery as wounded warriors with unhealed traumas and deprivations, and swords and shields that they hope will protect them from further suffering.  But the war is inside; between the defenses and dysfunction in the mind, and the heart pleading for mercy and grace, between the poisons in the body, and the spirit longing for peace and joy.

And the fear of letting go of all that we identify as ourselves and our lives is terrifying.  And the fear of facing all the wounds that we sustained and perpetrated, is overwhelming.  And the depth of the unknown truth, and absolute mystery of the next moment is incomprehensible.  And the experience of being helpless, exposed and vulnerable stimulates all past trauma and pain.

Yet recovery offers a warm welcome into a fellowship where we are safe and surrounded by a state of grace, much greater that the war and fear within us.  Everyone has value here and everyone has something to give.  We learn that hope arises from helping others and peace arises from practicing patience.  Healing is offered in exchange for swords.  Courage is offered in exchange for shields.  The pain of our defects and destructiveness now motivates us to serve the greater good in life.

We see how we are not separate from life but interwoven into the whole fabric of life.  Each moment holds magnificent possibilities of learning, of letting go, of growing, and of being.  We begin to feel our connection to the Source of pure goodness and mercy, and align our mind, heart, body and spirit to this truth.  The greater vision is not war, but compassionate cooperation.  The greater vision is not fear, but faith that we all can generously and joyfully contribute to the highest good for all of life.