The Top Two Ways to Create a Confident Young Adult

For me, the top two ways a parent teaches their children to feel confident and good about themselves is by telling them what they should expect for and from themselves in their life.

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  • They should expect to be challenged in life; so they grow and learn.
  • They should expect others to treat them with respect; anything less than that is unacceptable, and
  • They must expect the same applies to how they treat others; with respect.
  • They should expect that there are choices they could make during the process of expectations.

Of course, children of all ages run into people who won’t follow those rules; whereby they are challenging the boundaries of respect and expectations. It could be a man, woman, friend, or family member who won’t adhere to your child’s way of thinking and their balance of peace becomes disrupted in the moment. This is the moment in time when conscious choices come in; so balance can be restored and their journey of life continues on.

Without looking at the choices offered to them, your child can get stuck in a downward spiral into the bickering, anger, resentment, or whatever feeling of that moment; in turn, stunting their emotional growth. In one way or another, the child must decide what to do in that given situation. Your tools and guidance helps them to rise through the options.

Perhaps an apology or disconnect from the person is in order. Maybe your child needs to put a boundary in place, tell someone of authority the circumstances, or hopefully, if he or she doesn’t know the best way to handle a situation, they know they could come to you for advice.

When a child learns to expect more for and from themselves, they know better how to make good choices for themselves. For starters, teach them how to appreciate. Appreciate what, you say? Themselves; for who they are, what they have to offer, what they have the ability to do, and for what they are given. When a person knows that they are blessed, valuable just as they are, they exude it. When they are truly grateful for those blessings, their personality comes alive, their self-esteem rises, and they beam their light out to the world.

To take a line from the movie, The Help, teach them to say,

“I am smart, I am kind, I am important.”

Although there are many lessons to share with your kids as they grow, most importantly, remind them that they are worthy of respect. Their self-worth will replicate through their higher self-esteem, and you’ll know that you are helping to make them stronger, more loving, more loved, and grateful individuals.

As you go about your day, make conscious efforts to take notice if your child isn’t feeling good about him- or herself; then, remind them of their worth. By way of the media, peers, and even family members, kids find reasons why they aren’t good enough. Help them to know better. Teach them to be more independent at a young age so they transpire into men and women with high morals, values, and self-esteem. Show them that they, on their own, are acceptable, respectful, and worthy beings. By introducing this idea now, when they leave your protected cover they will know it to be true.

In summary, the top two ways a parent can teach their children to feel confident and good about themselves is to tell the children to 1) expect others to respect them, and  2) expect respect from themselves. If they don’t expect others to treat them right, then they are disrespecting themselves. Both 1 and 2 go hand-in-hand. When they honor themselves, they inadvertently receive respect externally.

Happy Parenting!

Kimberly Mitchell

If this topic appeals to you, or you would like to read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose, or go to any of the following links…

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The Health of Our Mind, Body and Spirit

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THE HEALTH OF OUR MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT

By Mary Cook, M.A., R.A.S.

Our minds chatter constantly, demanding attention.  Then we become lost in thought and life passes us by.  Our minds tell us that we have an impossible amount of things to do, then say hurry up, you’re way behind.  While taking care of one task, our minds recite long lists of what else to do.  Then the mind accuses us of not concentrating, and doing things wrong.  We are called names by our own mind that we wouldn’t accept from anyone else.  Minds like to obsess on problems.  They even fabricate them in our rare moments of contentment.  Then they give us solutions that create more problems than the original circumstances.  If we confront our minds for not doing a better job, suddenly the mind is no longer an expert, and becomes muddled and confused.

Our bodies give us cravings to eat or drink when we are not hungry or thirsty.  Bodies can tell us that we need sex in the most inappropriate situations.  They can be too anxious to sleep, or too exhausted to get out of bed, or vice versa.  Energy in our bodies is commonly excessive or depleted.  We are often tense with aches in our head, neck, shoulders or back.  Our bodies are easily addicted to sugar, salt, caffeine, fats, nicotine, alcohol, other drugs and medications.  Then we contract diseases as a result of these addictions.  Our bodies want to take elevators, escalators, and park as close as possible to where we’re going.  Then they want exercise, so we go to the gym to walk or run on a treadmill or stairmaster.

Our spirits often feel broken or lost.  We give up Heavenly dreams in deference to the defeatist list of endless duties to perform.  We allow empty rituals and short order prayers to replace real communion with God.  Fear of celestial retaliation can get us to church but not make us behave well outside of church.  It’s too hard to hang on to awe and wonder in the face of hatred and violence.  It’s too difficult to maintain excitement and joy in the depths of abandonment and depression.  Fear builds a fortress that shuts out serenity.  We feel hollow and fill ourselves up with superficial matters, compulsions and addictions.  We hide from our spirit, then forget that we have one.

We have symptoms, from physical problems, mental duress, depression, anxiety, or spiritual confusion.  We take pills for our symptoms and create more symptoms.  There is never enough time, because we’re not in the moment to experience its’ fullness.  Love is often lost to lust, selfishness, empty habits, fear, resentment or obligation.  We were created whole, yet we chronically feel incomplete.  We opt for quick fixes that sabotage lasting fulfillment.  We are slaves to sensory gratification and cultural indoctrination, at the cost of our health.

These are fundamental problems.  They are intertwined with all of the aspects of ourselves, and how we perceive our environment.  The health of our mind, body and spirit determines the quality of how we live and love, which affects everything around us.  We were created to be self-healing, evolving organisms with a mission of sacred stewardship to life on this planet.  If we wish to recapture this rich heritage, we must nourish our original roots.

A healthy mind includes higher consciousness.  It is a balance of right and left brain hemispheric information.  Deep reflection, present moment focus, intuition, and imagination are just as important as analysis, logic, reason and habit.  A healthy mind understands the importance of compassion, patience, sensitivity, respect, kindness, honesty, responsibility, generosity, humility, integrity and serenity.  A healthy mind discards unhelpful old ideas, and welcomes not knowing, because only in that space can something new emerge.

Healthy physical caretaking nourishes a strong desire to live, thrive and enjoy optimal health.  We understand and appreciate how our body works and all that it does for us.  We use low abdominal breathing to fully oxygenate our body and develop healing reserves of energy.  We learn to sense where energy is depleted, excessive or blocked, and correct these imbalances.  We eat fresh, natural foods free of chemicals and undue processing.  We alternate activity and physical exercise with relaxation and sleep.  We spend time outdoors observing natural beauty.  We experience a positive unity and interdependence with the elements, plants, animals, humans and the divine.

A healthy spirit maintains a conscious, active relationship with Heaven.  We pray and meditate daily, to embrace a larger mystery.  We surrender arrogant small-minded willfulness and the fear that creates it, in favor of divine partnership and faith.  We listen for the subtle, softer messages from spirit, and the signs that are given to us throughout the day.  We know that this guidance honors our free will, and is loving, mysterious, magical, humorous and insightful.  We gratefully acknowledge that we are children of the universe, with a purpose that is far greater than what we consciously realize.